Not the way I intended

     Well my intention was to launch my new blog and share some news and host a big giveaway.  Instead I am sharing some news before my blog is finished and not quite ready to be launched because I am in need of my blog community right now.  I guess I should start by saying......



We're PREGNANT!


    This pregnancy has not been without problems from the get go and being part of a community of moms that have lost and many that are trying I didn't feel okay about announcing (although I'm still not sure why, I am always so excited for a BLM when they announce their pregnancy so I guess I shouldn't assume different about myself. )

    We found out we were expecting again in March after a whole host of "signs" that pointed to me being pregnant so we were surprised and relieved when we found out.  Because I had an early miscarriage on New years, the doctor decided to test my Hcg levels right off the bat and they were very low.  So we tested again and again and my levels doubled as they were supposed to so we breathed a sigh of relief until the first ultrasound appointment.  At that appointment I saw my little beans heart just flicker away, I smiled until the tech got quiet and seemed to scan over one area for a while.  I asked what was wrong but knew she couldn't tell me anything.  When I came out to talk to the doctor he asked me if I had had any bleeding, I look at him somewhat surprised because typically blood and pregnancy don't go together and the last time I had blood I was miscarrying.  He explained that I had a subchorionic hemorrhage and that I should not be too alarmed if I have bleeding.  I also found out during this appointment that I had GBS and needed to do a round of antibiotics so that the infection wouldn't cause any other issues with the pregnancy such as uterine infection, preterm labor or the "S" word which I am all to familiar with.  So armed with antibiotics and a world of stress I waited for my follow-up appointment two weeks later.  I was given another ultrasound, no change with the subchorionic hemorrhage and worse the baby was now measuring a week behind.  I was beginning to give up hope that this baby would make it.  Week by week I progressed until today at my 16 week checkup.  The tech was quiet and I saw what she saw.  I asked her to look at the heart again so I could see it once more and I was right, it was an echogenic foci on the baby's heart.  This occurs in about 3-5% of pregnancies and generally doesn't cause a problem and in some cases resolves itself by the third trimester.  The concern I have is that is is a marker for chromosomal abnormalities.  I am scheduled to see MFM in two weeks and have a level 2 ultrasound.  I am asking please, wether you follow my blog, happen upon it,  or randomly check in, could you please pray that everything will turn out okay and that I can have peace for the next two weeks while I wait for this appointment.  Many of you understand the worry when something on an ultrasound doesn't go right and you have to wait for further testing.  I was hoping to have announced this in a different way and that it wouldn't be filled with so much fear and worry, but you have all been there for me through so much.  So I thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading, praying, encouraging me.  They say pregnancy after loss is rarely easy and having all of the "issues" we've had make it that much harder.  This child is in God's hands and I have to have faith in that.

I do plan on launching my new blog soon and having a giveaway, so please stay tuned for that.